I ASK YOU TALK: Ho Ho Ho! Some Santas Have Provocative Xmas Wishes This Year

December 2009 has, so far, been so wonderful and fun! I got to attend my first company holiday party, where I bonded with teammates, drank my fair share of chardonnay, and watched the executives boogie down to the Black Eyed Peas. I also embarked on a challenge with a friend to do "5 cool things in Dallas" before the end of the year. A bit ambitious, but fun to get up off my butt and get out on the town. Please send suggestions my way if you live in Dallas, as the challenge will continue through 2010!

I was, however, super bummed when I missed out on "Photo with Santa" day at work this year. Needless to say, I was pumped when a motley crue of Santas walked into the bar I was in last Saturday!

I think I said "woo!" out loud.

I asked these beer drinking (and slightly pervy) Santas, and other boozy bar goers (including a roller derby diva), about holiday wishes, songs, and mistletoe.

Name: Dirty Santa (right)
What do you want for Xmas? A v*gina. It's gotta be nice, and no VDs.
What is your favorite holiday tune? Silent Night...in German.
Who do you want to kiss under the mistletoe? The girl from Serendipity! Kate Beckinsale! She is the love of my life.

Name: Flava Flav Santa
What do you want for Xmas? A homeless woman with no clothes. She's gotta be clean. I just want to make her some clothes. OR, a midget with one leg and a good attitude.
What is your favorite holiday tune? Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire
Who do you want to kiss under the mistletoe? Tiger Woods - just a kiss on the forehead. I feel bad for him. I'd give him a bro hug.

Name: Joel
What do you want for Xmas? A sultry, intelligent girlfriend with red hair. (hmmm...see below)
What is your favorite holiday tune? This is the worst question ever! I would have to say I'm Getting Pissed for Christmas by Peter and the Test Tubes.
Who do you want to kiss under the mistletoe? Blake Lively.

Name: Maggie
What do you want for Xmas? An intelligent, nerdy, sweet and faithful boyfriend with glasses and brown hair.
What is your favorite holiday tune? Nat King Cole's Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire and Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
Who do you want to kiss under the mistletoe? Let's see...Paul Rudd. Or the boyfriend I got for Xmas!

Name: Cruella Bruisille
What do you want for Xmas? A tattoo of a derby girl and a bass guitar.
What is your favorite holiday tune? Mele Kalikimaka
Who do you want to kiss under the mistletoe? Gene Simmons, for his long tongue.

Name: Phallic Thimble
What do you want for Xmas? For Queen to go on tour again
What is your favorite holiday song? Chiron Beta Prime - Jonathon Coulton. It's nerd folk.
Who do you want to kiss under the mistletoe? Drew Barrymore. She's someone who can kick my ass!

Hope you got some good ideas for your holiday playlist. Thanks to everyone for reading and sharing this year!! have a happyhappyholidays, and see you again in 2010.